What A Man NEEDS

Quick story for you-

I was talking to my client Meghan a couple weeks ago, she was freaking out because she could feel her man pulling away from her. She was feeling scared he would leave her, and wondering what she could do to make that stop.

Has this ever happened to you?

Everything is status quo and then POOF!

You feel your man, or a man you’re dating pull away, and you FREAK OUT! Your mind goes on overdrive trying to figure out what you can do to fix things, meanwhile there’s usually a really simple reason WHY he’s temporarily pulled away.

One reason a man will pull away is if he’s not feeling You.

What I mean is, when you allow a man to see all of you (ALLLLLL of you = what you like AND what you want to hide about yourself), he feels more connected to you.  He actually falls deeper in love with you.

What most women do is hide the parts of themselves they don’t want their man to see, because they have yet to find love and appreciation for those parts of themselves.  They don’t realize he knows you’re hiding something; he can feel it in your energy.

Meghan has an old belief that she has to be perfect to be loved, she wants to hide parts of herself that she doesn’t see as perfect, because she fears that he would leave her if he knew her flaws.

Old Beliefs vs Reality

Quite the contrary, for Meghan, her man is showing her he’s a safe place for her to open up and let him in. He was asking her to open up & let him in.  And when she continued to block him off emotionally, he pulled away. What he needed was to FEEL her!  He needed to know she was still interested IN HIM.  When she opened up to him after our call, he was super supportive and so happy she let him in.

You can see how Meghan’s mental dialogue almost cost her her man, can you see how it could have played out differently had she chose to stay in her bubble of fear? Had she not had the support of a coach to help her overcome her fear that was pushing her man away?

We all have a story we’re telling ourselves about why we can’t have something we want, what’s your story?

“I can’t afford it”
“There’s no good men out there”
“If it’s meant to be, he’ll show up”
“I’m too old/fat/ugly/broke”

How does it feel to live in that story compared to the weight of your desire to be with the one who loves you wholeheartedly? How does it feel to walk in the door and say “Honey, I’m HOME!” after a long, brutal day, and your man walks over to, lays his eyes on you, kisses you and wraps you in his arms, and the safety you feel there?

What would it feel like to take a step into THAT story?

You can, it’s not that you’re not ready, it’s just that your story is winning…so what if you just decided today that you were going to take charge of your love life and get the support you need to let go of your story and write your love story?

Comments 4

  1. Lena thank you so much for this advice and it is true we are inclined to foreget men are sensitive to our feelings and feel shut off if we don,t share them with them.

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