Divorce

This past weekend we celebrated my brother getting married!!

I’m so happy he found love again.

 A few years ago, he was left by his first wife on Christmas, only a couple months after their daughter was born.
As a family, we were surprised and shocked! There were no signs, everything seemed “fine”, it was completely unexpected.
My sweet brother, with his hard exterior, melted fast and I could see the weight of his hurt all over him.
He was blindsided.

I remember my younger dating life, I would keep myself protected from being hurt by choosing men who weren’t really available.  You know the type, the man you can’t find when you need him; who says one thing, but does another.  Because I never wanted to feel the rug being pulled out from under me, like my brother did.

But what kind of life is that?!
Living with a shield up just in case
I had a choice – to learn how to be open to love, being willing to give myself in love, even if it meant I could get hurt.

OR 

keep trying to protect myself from getting hurt, feeling unhappy and unsatisfied in the process, trying to get love from men who weren’t available to give it
I chose to learn how to LOVE.
In doing so, I learned how to be my own ally in love. I learned how to have my own back in love, so that even if a relationship doesn’t work out how I want, I no longer feel paralyzed and give up on love.

I feel so full of love and security within myself, I stand confidently at my brother’s wedding, and feel nothing but joy for him and his new bride.

No longer do I hear “why isn’t this happening for me?!” “how can he be getting married AGAIN, and I’m still single?!”

It may sound redundant, but it’s true, when you get to the heart of your value and worth, the doubt fades away. 

There’s no way anyone can tell me I can’t have my man, my baby, my dream life. I believe in all the cells of my body I am having it all.

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