Clearing the Muck

Oh my god, I’m feeling like a hot mess!

It has been quite a whirlwind of a couple weeks.

This Thanksgiving my parents told me my siblings were going to their in-laws.  This gave me a free pass to stay home and take care of myself.  If you’ve been with me for a while you know I’ve been working with a colorist/stylist on my clothing.  She told me about a month ago, that since I have my clothing under wraps, it was now time bring this warmth into my home.

My first thought was, “Oh my god!  Now I have something else to do.”  It really felt overwhelming.

Then I sat down and journaled.  And what I realized was that I really didn’t have that much to do.  It was easy for me to see how I could transform my room with little money and a few resources.


I spent the entire weekend painting my two rooms and pampering myself.  It was an amazing adventure.  A sweet little treat for myself.

I spent the entire weekend painting my two rooms and pampering myself.  It was an amazing adventure.  A sweet little treat for myself.

Then this week started…

This last week has felt insane!

Work has upped the ante and stress.  And I’m noticing how it is affecting me.

I’ve noticed that I’m super cranky.  Recently, I haven’t been as gracious or compassionate as I normally am with strangers or people I know.

Then when I got off a call I realized I was ANGRY!  And I needed to clear some serious shit.

While I was on my way to my next account — I literally screamed out loud.

Because I knew there was just this stuff inside of me.  This yuck and muck that was making me feel so bad.

I screamed out loud, then for 5-minutes I verbalized all the negative stuff that was getting me down.  It felt like a ton of yuck was just piling up.

This is a practice I learned from Mama Gina.  She is the author of The School of Womanly Arts, Spring Cleaning.  And I felt so much better after that scream and rant!

Yet there was still an undercurrent of pressure.  But even with all of that external pressure and stress from other people’s perception of reality, I felt OKAY.

My core told me…

I felt it down deep.  I felt it in my bones, this knowing that everything IS okay.  That everything WAS going to be okay.  And that everything IS working out.

It is a very interesting place to be.  Why?  Because this is what I’ve been working towards for so long. There is a part of me, the old part of me, that wants to come forward and focus on the negative.  “Wait a minute you should be freaking out right now, you should be panicking.”

But, what I know to be true is that panicking and freaking out doesn’t manifest desire.  It is doesn’t make things happen.  It makes things worse!  It is fear coming to the surface AND it paralyzes you.

My “spring cleaning” shift

When I was spring cleaning alone in my car, what I heard was these personal blocks.  These were the habits that I’ve been in for years, that are finally coming to the surface.

None of this should be a surprise to me, considering the full moon in Gemini and Saturn conjunct with Mercury.  This time is inviting us to really take a look at where we are and what is blocking us from stepping into our desire.  What do we really want to create?

But to hear it out loud (all of my perceived blockages) puts a whole other consciousness around what I get to transform.

Its crazy times right now.  Whether you are in a relationship, dealing with things at work, focusing on stuff in your home, or just life in general because of the holidays.  It can feel really real!

My 4 steps

In the spirit of the holidays, my invitation to you is the practice that I use to stay centered and grounded.  It is a combination of: yoga tools, journaling, mindset shifting, and connecting with my vision.  At the end of the day, these resources have been with me this whole time.  I often forget these tools are there when I’m in the muck of the stress.  When I’m really in IT!

  1. Mindset: Start your day off right.  When I woke up in the morning and the first thing I said was “F*%#”!  I rolled back over and hit snooze to reformulate my thoughts.  I don’t want to start my day negatively.  So pay attention to how you start your day.  How do you feel?  What are the words in your mind?  Because if you are saying “F*%$” or “Shit this is going to be a crappy day!” then I invite you to stay in bed.  Hit snooze and reformulate your thoughts.

I keep The Subconscious Mind next to my bed, which helps me re-frame my thoughts when I wake up in a bad mood.  Often, I will journal about my dream then read 2 pages from The Subconscious Mind.  It helps me get started on my day on the right foot and it makes me feel better.

  1. Get in your body: I practice yoga and meditate every single day.  Somedays its Kundalini Yoga which has been transformative.  It has helped me in clearing that extra stuff out of my system and creating new pathways in my mind, body, and feeling state.  Sometimes its traditional Hatha Yoga.

 Feel what’s going on and move it through.  And then sit.  Sit for 5 to 10 minutes and take this practice in.  Let your mind be quiet and Find. Your. Stillness.

  1. Journal: I’ve taken on a journal challenge that my coach has implemented in her group.  I’m doing it every day for myself.  Basically its connecting me to my desire and looking at what is limiting me.  What do I still believe is in my way of that desire?

After that I write my I AM statements.  If you know me or have talked to me you know how powerful I Am statements really are.  “I AM…”

  1. Live your vision: What does that mean?  What does that look like? For me, I realized that when I was in the moment yesterday in the muck, feeling cranky, I wasn’t connected to my FEELING.  I didn’t feel good so I couldn’t be connected to what I wanted.  That is a primary sign of being out of alignment to receive what you desire, according to Abraham Hicks.  In that moment I had a choice, I could stay feeling crappy or shift it connecting to my desire.  Once I connected to my vision, and I connected it to what it feels like to be winning; to have success; to be celebrated; to be appreciated and recognized — that is what got me through the rest of the day.

All of these things are what help me on a daily basis.  They help me get through the tough times just like you.  Times of stress.  Times of disappointment.  Times of wanting to be pissed off.

Take away…

The importance of recognizing when you are in the muck and working through it.  Making peace with the muck and rising above it.

May peace and love be with you always, and until next time have a beautiful Friday!

What do you think about these practices?  Have you tried them?  Tell me what works for you to get out of the muck.  And if you are still stuck, I want to know.  Feel free to share in the comments below, I would love to hear from you!


Comments 2

  1. I’ve been feeling a bit angry, depressed, and some jealousy this week. Last weekend was emotional as I went to a Celebration of Life and that brought up my husband’s death which is coming up on 3 yrs ago and also my mother’s death which was 20 years ago and also losing my father the year after my husband. After the service I didn’t stay for the reception. I decided to go home and take a walk in the dark around my neighborhood to look at Christmas lights in the freshly falling snow. It felt so good to be outside alone and ended up having a crying meltdown–also being hormonal didn’t help. This week has brought more feelings up too. I figured by now I would have found someone special…the online dating thing sucks and I just haven’t met anyone locally yet of interest. My sister who is going thru a divorce already has another man lined up a month later and informed me this week that she is going to his parents for Christmas. Every time I hear from her she is so excited about something big…going out of town with this guy over the weekend to a wedding with him….a couple weekends before went to see him and a couple weeks before that it was a road trip… I really didn’t expect starting over and trying to find a man mid-life would be so difficult. I was married almost 32 yrs. I have been corresponding with a few men and one in particular I like and he was pursuing me more in the beginning but I wasn’t yet sure and needed to get to know him better…but then corresponds for a few days in a row then not for a few…he has never called me. I had to call him. I think he may be a bit shy and says he is but we have only talked on the phone once and he didn’t seem shy at all. But he does have a 12 yr old daughter and has her every other week so I know he is busy when he has her. He also asked if he bought tickets to a play would I come to visit. I told him I would. But he just seems to move slow. I think he likes me to make the first move so he knows I am truly interested. He did tell me it said a lot that I called him. He has told me he cares for me and several times that he likes me… He was cheated on by his wife of 25 yrs so he may have a wall up. He was married prior for 5yrs to someone who also cheated. He told me he would tell me his side of why he thinks they cheated but I haven’t asked him yet to tell me. But we seem to click and I am hoping to draw him out of his shell. So it has been emotional for me the past week for sure and I am sick of it! I’m not really feeling in the holiday spirit either. My grandson usually comes to visit the week after Christmas but this year he came the week of Thanksgiving so I don’t think he is coming. But tonight I am going to take a relaxing bath and listen to an audio book. Tomorrow I am going for a pedicure and go to a craft bazaar and try to get out of this funk. I am tired of feeling this way and want to feel happy and turn it around.

    1. Post

      Hello Leah! it’s been a while since this post, I apologize for not seeing it sooner!! How are you NOW?! IT sounds like there’s some experiences both on your side and his, that are influencing how the relationship could go. Let me know what happened!

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