And yet, here I am approaching my next trip around the sun. A little less panicked than years past. A tad bit older and wiser.
Another trip around the sun
You see, I have a thing with time, meaning I can fall into a state of worry about running out of it. So I’ve implemented mental strategies like telling myself “you always have enough time” and “time is always on your side”.
Like so many of us, I have fallen into the trap of using time as a benchmark of where I “should be”. What am I supposed to have or be right now? These benchmarks are influenced both by societal measures, AND family or generational ideals.
Your Mom was married at 19, so you should, too! She stayed home and took care of the kids, why aren’t you? You’re 40 and STILL SINGLE?!!? (OH the HORROR!!)
You don’t want children!? There must be something wrong with you, says society. What ARE you going to do if you don’t have children?!
As women, these are the questions and accusations can leave us feeling “less than”.
If there’s one thing you can count on for sure, times are always a changin’.
Positive Changes In Life
At this stage in the game, I can say that am grateful for the experiences that have made me the woman I am today. Without them, who would I be? I don’t know, but I know I love this me. and am grateful for me, and the me I get to be every day.
I trust I am being led. I trust that my path is being cleared to guide me to the next experience, person, place, or thing that will take me to the next level in my life. I trust that everything is always working out for me, and I trust myself above all. I couldn’t say that 20 years ago!
What inspires me to keep growing are the amazingly powerful, loving, and supportive women who I see making their life better every day. They are conquering their minds to be the best they can be, not letting the little shit bring them down or break them. It is inspiring to be in communities of women taking a stand for their lives, loves, businesses, and families.
And these women influence me to keep my faith, to keep my faith in myself and my dreams, to be in FULL faith. That doesn’t mean I don’t fall low sometimes. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel, it means I CAN feel and have faith in the healing that is happening that will take me to the next level.