If you’re a busy, successful, working woman wanting to meet a man, I’m sure there’s been at least one time you’ve said to yourself, “I wonder if there will be any single, cute guys at ___________??” (insert your go-to place)
It was a Tuesday evening, and I decided to take myself to a yoga class. I hadn’t yet been to this time, or instructor at this studio, and I couldn’t help notice the little voice saying, “Go. You never know who you might meet.”
(Meeting a man on my mind).
I saw a couple men walking in from the parking lot, and as I entered the classroom I noticed a kinda cute guy with his mat set up in the front corner of the room. I felt hopeful and a little giddy.
I took the open real estate near his mat. It was an open space after all! 🙂 and let the yoga flow through me.
As I was walking out of class, I stepped in some sweat (EWWW!) saying as much out loud. The kinda cute guy I practiced near was walking behind me, and said, “it was probably mine”. I said, “No, you were practicing too far away for it to be yours!”
I noticed he kept giving me the eye…not in a creepy way. It genuinely felt like he wanted to say something more to me.
Because I could feel that from him, I consciously tapped into my soft feminine energy, which is not hard after a relaxing savasana:), making eye contact and smiling to invite him to say more.
But he didn’t, not then.
He landed in my inbox…
The next morning I was checking my email, and there’s one from the kinda cute yoga guy! He had found my website, and sent me an email through my “contact me” page.
I was pleasantly surprised to read his email, saying he hoped it was ok he reached out to me this way, and apologizing for his awkward, and unsocial behavior the night prior. Continuing on, he wrote that he knew he recognized me from somewhere, but couldn’t place where, or how until he heard the yoga teacher say my name.
The whole time I’m reading this, I’m thinking, “I have NO idea who he is” I mean, I knew it was the kinda cute yoga guy, but how else did I know him? He didn’t look at all familiar to me.
We had previously matched on Bumble.
And then there it was, “I didn’t want to bring up talking with you on a dating app in front of everyone…”
It took me a minute, but then I remembered- We had matched months ago on Bumble, and we had yoga in common.
Because I was less than intrigued with our bumble convo, his answers short, and uninviting, I dissolved the match deducing that he wasn’t all that interested. And I’m not available for men who aren’t interested! 🙂
So I didn’t even consider running into him! Especially since I don’t often go to this studio.
This was an interesting turn of events.
However, this communication was different. It felt engaged, forward, and direct- all things I appreciate in communication.
Could this potentially be something?
I decided to stay in the communication and see what evolved.
Without any resistance, I shared with him my genuine surprise and delight in receiving his message, told him there was no need to apologize for his awkwardness, and honestly shared that I didn’t get the impression he was interested in getting to know me in our bumble buzz. Adding I would likely be seeing him around, and again thanking him for reaching out.
He replied with a little more, and an invite to yoga together and have tea/coffee afterward. How easy, I thought! We made a date, and I was looking forward to it. Yayyyy
It didn’t happen.
He had a call, he wasn’t sure it would end in time. He referenced my idea for meeting at a coffee/tea place I suggested post class, but didn’t offer that up as a thing that we would do. Upon his suggestion for another class on Sunday, I accepted. But he didn’t acknowledge it. He faded into the dark night sky never to be heard from again.
To say I didn’t insult him and his colossal douche behavior would be a lie.
I ignored my intuition
What’s important to note here is this-
I allowed his temporary change of behavior to influence my previous experience of him, which led me to doubt my own intuitive knowing.
When we’re excited about the possibility of something, or someone, we might forget what we know to be true for us. We might think we need to give someone or something a second chance, thereby giving them a chance to prove us wrong. OR prove us right. We might feel we’re being too harsh by sticking to what we feel. Like this guy for example, I knew in my gut what I was dealing with before he changed his tune.
(We) have a powerful inner guidance system, and it and it seems most of us are second guessing it, or disconnected from it all together!
My intuition is always, I mean ALWAYS spot on. And the only time I fall away from trusting it, is when I fall prey to the old way of wondering what others will think of me.
What would he think of me if I chose myself OVER him?!
Right? I know you feel me on that, beauty.
Learning how to trust myself has been a huge part of my journey, and you can see, there are times I fall prey to second guessing myself. The key is learning how to get right back into flow with myself, and that’s something I teach women just like you to do.
I have often imagined myself seeing Kinda Cute Yoga Guy at the yoga studio and brushing him off. You know, dealing him what he dealt. But I realize that’s not my job, and it’s just a waste of my mental energy. Instead, I trust he’s going to meet his Karma. Cuz that’s how the world works.
Recently I was on a tea date with someone at the very coffee place I suggested to kinda cute yoga guy. Guess who I saw there?!
Yep. Kinda cute yoga guy. With someone else.
I could have agonized about why he didn’t follow through, question why he blew me off and turn it on myself to make it mean I wasn’t good enough.
Seeing through truth, not mental torment..
Because I learned to see Kinda Cute Yoga Guy’s behavior as having nothing to do with me, I saved so much of my precious time wondering if I did something wrong.
Instead I stayed in the moment with the man I was with, settled into my body, and in doing so, came back to what I knew before, trusting my intuition and my feelings above all else.
What about you, Beauty?
Do you trust yourself when it comes to dating?
Do you know how to weed out the guys who aren’t right for you?
Do you want to stop wasting your time dating men that promise to show up, and never do?
If you want to date better, I am available for monthly coaching. Click the contact form on my site to send me an email and grab a spot on my weekend calendar for a FREE 30 minute love assessment call and see if we’re a fit.
In this call, you can expect to learn exactly what is keeping you from the love you want, and receive tailored coaching to move you forward.